are kurdish men faithful?

[SadKurdLover]

Sadly he's not the only Kurdish guy behaving like that...and I would join in the hearty laughter if it weren't people's lives being messed up in the process. Jasmin, I'd say keep well away from any of them as my experience has been enough to scar me for life and I've never been lied to on such a grand scale or treated with such disrespect ever in my life. They can be very charming and of course good looking but they are really not interested in life with us, just sex, a visa or somewhere to live while they save up money to get on their feet here. There must be some Kurdish guys who don't behave like this, but a quick search online will reveal that an awful lot do. The ones who have no education, want a visa to UK by any means, failed asylum seekers etc who are used to ducking and diving and living just on the edge of the law. Have a look at who his friends are too...they are normally behaving the same way or claim to be single and not interested but are on every online dating site known to man. I am no expert I know, but I'd say run far from this type of man.

[Anthea]

Sadly he's not the only Kurdish guy behaving like that...and I would join in the hearty laughter if it weren't people's lives being messed up in the process. Jasmin, I'd say keep well away from any of them as my experience has been enough to scar me for life and I've never been lied to on such a grand scale or treated with such disrespect ever in my life. They can be very charming and of course good looking but they are really not interested in life with us, just sex, a visa or somewhere to live while they save up money to get on their feet here. There must be some Kurdish guys who don't behave like this, but a quick search online will reveal that an awful lot do. The ones who have no education, want a visa to UK by any means, failed asylum seekers etc who are used to ducking and diving and living just on the edge of the law. Have a look at who his friends are too...they are normally behaving the same way or claim to be single and not interested but are on every online dating site known to man. I am no expert I know, but I'd say run far from this type of man.

Always remember that a genuine honest Kurdish man will be so delighted to have found someone who is really interested in him - he will want to share his music and his culture - introduce you to his friends including the lovely Kurdish women - want to take you to his celebrations - Kurds have lots of celebrations and wedding parties - they have a lovely caring sharing culture

If he does none of the above RUN

[Anthea]

@ SadKurdLover

Lovely to see you here again

How is your beautiful baby - strong healthy and happy I hope

[SadKurdLover]

Yes agreed, I've yet to meet any family apart from one male relative, and have never been introduced to any Kurdish women or invited to any celebrations. I have only just now seen the family back home on Skype and that's a year and one baby later. I did express an interest in the culture and have learnt some Kurdish words but it wasn't really noticed.
I have met his friends and they all knew about his other girlfriend and had met her regularly too...they will cover for each other and never will do the decent thing and tell you, loyalty lies with each other only.


Just saw your other post Anthea hope you're well. Yes baby is doing fine, starting to smile now and show personality...very cute indeed

[Anthea]

@ SadKurdLover

You seem more positive now - I hope that means you are no longer listening to Mr Charm and all his lies - people such as him should come with a government health warning

There are some lovely Kurdish men in UK but most are already married to Kurdish ladies - those that are single probably would not marry non-Kurds even if they wanted to because of family pressure

Many Kurdish men come here to work and leave their wives behind for many years - the good ones will remain faithful - the bad ones will pretend they are not married and make use of girls here

[KabirKuhi]

I'm sad to hear about your story Sadkurdlover. But to be frank, I can't recognize the behavior you speak of, in the kurds I'm friends with and middle-easterners in general. I don't think this has to do with "Kurdishness"(Who by the way are our cousins) any less than hooliganism is "English", so to speak. It might have to do with socioeconomic reasons. From my experience, while intermarriage with whites is rare(atleast in the country I live in) we never hear of such cases.

Don't worry about that, any serious specialist of genetics would laugh (or sigh) by reading how some people understand DNA… They sound like a bunch of post-nazis, so proud of their 'Pure Blood' lol, let these ignorants join Slytherin and be

As someone whose studied biology, and population genetics in my curriculum, I have to digress and disagree. Anyone who has studied population genetics and forensics and anthropology will tell you that race does indeed exist. The academic community is divided on the issue itself, with some geneticist and sociologists not agreeing with the notion of blood/race, while others agree to it. There is indeed a body of evidence to substantiate the term ethnicity and more broadly "race". So technically speaking kurds and most ethnicities can be pure-blooded in that invidiuals or groups share unique mutation profiles and similar ancestral signatures. Kurds belong to the West Indo-Iranian genetic family, which they share with my own people, the Lurs, aswell as Persians, Azeris and various ethnicities. They're quite distinct from the english and the scottish who belong to a .

Now whether you want to place importance on the concept of blood/race is subjective . But technically it does exist.

Sorry.. I know biology is boring. But for me it's a passion.

[Anthea]

@ SadKurdLover

Hello my friend

I hope you and your 2 beautiful girls are all fit and healthy

Are you doing anything interesting for Christmas?

The BIG question is:

Are you feeling emotionally stronger now - and managing to get your life back on track?

It is sad that you met such a man - it gives Kurdish men bad reputations - there is no rush for you to find a new man - enjoy watching your children grow

GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE

[SadKurdLover]

Hi Anthea

How are you? I had a very quiet Christmas and New Year thanks, I hope you had a good one, thanks for asking after me. Mr Charm was around and even had Christmas dinner at my parents' house but it didn't stop him from behaving badly again. We weren't reconciled but he was asking me to. He has even asked me to go to Kurdistan with him now so that he will be on the straight and narrow (laughable I know) but I have flat refused and never will. He is clearly not serious about me or the kids just wants to play around. We don't need that. I am feeling a bit stronger thank you. Sadly I have been hearing many stories like mine from women online so it seems Mr Charm is not in the minority at all like folks here seem to think. Certain types of Kurdish men in the UK have a definite reputation...too bad I didn't find this out before getting involved with the worst kind.
No indeed I am no rush to find a new man and actually doubt that I will ever again. My children are enough for me.

[Anthea]

Hi Anthea

How are you? I had a very quiet Christmas and New Year thanks, I hope you had a good one, thanks for asking after me. Mr Charm was around and even had Christmas dinner at my parents' house but it didn't stop him from behaving badly again. We weren't reconciled but he was asking me to. He has even asked me to go to Kurdistan with him now so that he will be on the straight and narrow (laughable I know) but I have flat refused and never will. He is clearly not serious about me or the kids just wants to play around. We don't need that. I am feeling a bit stronger thank you. Sadly I have been hearing many stories like mine from women online so it seems Mr Charm is not in the minority at all like folks here seem to think. Certain types of Kurdish men in the UK have a definite reputation...too bad I didn't find this out before getting involved with the worst kind.
No indeed I am no rush to find a new man and actually doubt that I will ever again. My children are enough for me.

Hello SadKurdLover

I am delighted to know that you are alright - but worried because Mr Charm is still lurking around - he will use you both as a reason to stay in UK - this is a new year - you have to put your foot down HARD

Do you really want him to use you so that he could stay in UK - and make use of more unsuspecting naive girls

Also think of the future - given the way he has behaved in the past - when he has received leave to remain - do you really think that he will stop telling lies and become an honest man - I think not - but the longer he hangs around while waiting for his right to remain - the more fond of him both your children become - the more upset they will be when he vanishes - I believe he will vanish

You need space in which to recover - you need your life back - the games Mr Charm plays will continue to upset you - when you are upset your children will be upset - there might be arguments - you do not need arguments - you are young you need to be HAPPY

Take care of yourself and PLEASE keep in touch

My daily thread is: Thoughts of the day every day in 2014

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=14434

Did you notice that I mentioned you in my old thread:

Thoughts of the day every day in 2013

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11517&p=104819#p104819

[SadKurdLover]

Hi, no I didn't see your old thread, thanks.

You are right about being upset the longer he hangs around but I am unsure how to proceed for the long term. I have had 2 weeks no contact now, I have said I don't want to see him. He is demanding to see the baby and all niceties have been dropped. He is struggling to use her for a visa as he has none of the evidence of us being couple that his solicitor advised him to get and I refused to move in with him now or ever. He has photos of him with her, taken by himself with his phone, but that's it. He is not on the birth cert and I won't change that unless forced to by a judge....so I don't think he can use us in that way really. If so I won't be helping him at all. I believe you are right he would vanish and really I would love him to vanish now but there are no signs he is going anywhere. I am unsure how to proceed. Maybe you could pm me if you have any pointers.

[Anthea]

I wonder where SadKurdLover is now

We have not heard from her in some time - I hope that she is alright

Nobody should have to live in fear as this sad young woman does

Wherever you are take care of yourself and your 2 lovely daughters

[Anthea]

UPDATE:

SadKurdLover is still sad

That man has threatened her so much she is afraid to leave her own home

He is now trying to use the baby (that he wanted aborted) as a reason to be allowed to remain in UK

Mr Charm has threatened kidnap the baby and take her to his mother's home in Turkey

Mr Charm has even threatened SadKurdLover's mother

Has anyone any ideas as to what SadKurdLover could do

[KabirKuhi]

UPDATE:

SadKurdLover is still sad

That man has threatened her so much she is afraid to leave her own home

He is now trying to use the baby (that he wanted aborted) as a reason to be allowed to remain in UK

Mr Charm has threatened kidnap the baby and take her to his mother's home in Turkey

Mr Charm has even threatened SadKurdLover's mother

Has anyone any ideas as to what SadKurdLover could do

Contact the police?

[Anthea]

The police were contacted - her home has been alarmed - she has a police emergency alarm - she has solicitors - doctors reports - MP support

Even women's refuge support - they cannot take her in until she has been seriously injured

It seems that until the poor girl is half dead nobody can do anything against this man with a known record of violence against women

She needs fresh ideas - think outside the box - before this man actually KILLS her

[KabirKuhi]

The police were contacted - her home has been alarmed - she has a police emergency alarm - she has solicitors - doctors reports - MP support

Even women's refuge support - they cannot take her in until she has been seriously injured

It seems that until the poor girl is half dead nobody can do anything against this man with a known record of violence against women

She needs fresh ideas - think outside the box - before this man actually KILLS her

She can contact the kurdish community and tell them her story, maybe they can talk to him. She can get a vakil/wakil. I don't know how it is for kurmanji kurds, but sometimes kurds turn to community leaders and religious leaders to solve matters of dispute.