are kurdish men faithful?

[Anthea]

Hate to write this but you need a check up for social complaints QUICKLY

[SadKurdLover]

No it's realistic and prudent, I will get checked.

[Anthea]

Most Kurdish men are not like that - his parents would be shamed if they realised what their son was like - to Kurds honour is very important - you were unfortunate enough to meet the biggest SHIT I have ever heard of - I have had Kurdish friends for more than 30 years and never heard of any man being as bad as that

[SadKurdLover]

Apparently his mother and the family in Turkey know this other woman and have spoken to her via Skype too. His family here have also met her and they were about to meet me. They appear to be condoning him.

Naming and shaming on fb is an idea yes. He has 3 facebooks and hides them from different women. One of them doesn't have his name and uses his nephew and nieces photos so he will just add women to that one I guess as it's harder to trace as his.

Yes what a complete shit. I am still a bit dazed to be honest. I have never met a worse person in my whole life, that is the truth. He has no regard for the truth or for women and has treated us like dogs. He is still contacting me saying he is sorry and wants to be with me...does he think I am totally stupid? I also know he is texting the other women the same thing. It's like he has no heart.

A couple of other women also told me today via facebook that they reported him to immigration many times and nothing ever happens. He just moves on to another shop, another address, another woman or women it seems. What a way to live eh.

[Anthea]

I am absolutely amazed at his behaviour - it is difficult for me believe that he is actually Kurdish - are you certain that is not Turkish? I am not a great lover of Kurdish men - the ladies are my friends - but his actions are the worst I have heard of EVER

[SadKurdLover]

No he's definitely Kurdish, of Iraqi descent but brought up in east Turkey. Has a Kurdish name and wears a necklace with Kurdistan on it. The brother in law that I've met is also his cousin and was PKK. He has lots of scars and wounds all over his body, he got asylum here and a passport very quickly as a result of how he was treated by Turkey.
Funnily enough when I was in Turkey (my oldest daughter's father is Turkish and fairly awful too) they always claimed that the worst behaviour in the resorts and the worst men were the Kurdish. But I never saw much good behaviour exhibited by the Turks there towards women so never knew why they said that other than the usual hatred towards each other.

[SadKurdLover]

Clearly I need to look at myself though, I've fallen foul of 2 men like this now and need to examine why and break the pattern.

[Anthea]

Clearly I need to look at myself though, I've fallen foul of 2 men like this now and need to examine why and break the pattern.

Your only mistake is being an honest person yourself you expect others to be as honest

[SadKurdLover]

Thank you I really hurt today despite everything. I have no idea what is wrong with him or why he chose to treat me like an animal. I was happy to get a mosque marriage, learn Kurdish and meet his family and to compromise where possible to have a happy family life. He knows that I am not a bad person or the sort of person he disapproves of or his family would disapprove of. I dress modestly, don't drink or go out partying and I am home with my daughter all the time, the only time I went out I was with him when my parents babysat her for me. I know there's no sense in looking for answers really.
I guess I should just stick to UK men but the way I feel I'd rather just stick to being single from now on.

[Feyli_kord]

Well, you meet a player not a family man. My uncle has been married with a european woman for nearly 25 years now, a relative of mine who lives in the UK and is a dentist is going to marry his English GF from 5 years. But they're both from a good family and not irresponsible. Don't take this personally, but i think you're probably the naive type who falls for flashy men. Those type of men only care about themselves and have short-term goals. This is not a kurd versus european thing. It's more about flashy guys who want to have short-term relationships and play women, versus stable men who care about their partners. I guess women find flashy men more exciting.

[SadKurdLover]

That's the thing he's not flashy, seems quiet on the surface. I don't go for flashy men, no but I do admit to being naïve. I'm glad that you have family members who are not like this.

[Anthea]

Thank you I really hurt today despite everything. I have no idea what is wrong with him or why he chose to treat me like an animal. I was happy to get a mosque marriage, learn Kurdish and meet his family and to compromise where possible to have a happy family life. He knows that I am not a bad person or the sort of person he disapproves of or his family would disapprove of. I dress modestly, don't drink or go out partying and I am home with my daughter all the time, the only time I went out I was with him when my parents babysat her for me. I know there's no sense in looking for answers really.
I guess I should just stick to UK men but the way I feel I'd rather just stick to being single from now on.

You are very lucky that you have supportive parents

It is the innocent who are far too trusting and dare I say gullible - street-wise girls are never caught out this way

Are you strong enough to meet with him without weakening - because you have to try to be really cool calm and collected - you need to decided if you want his name on the birth certificate - it is better decided now because after the birth you will be far too emotional to make any sort of rational decisions - you will need peace and calm

Babies are little love machines - food in - food out - a contented smile - a burp - but if you are stressed you will have sleepless nights and crying - perhaps when you have recovered a bit you should give a thought to moving - a fresh start - do you the world of good

[SadKurdLover]

I have been gullible, yes I see that. I won't put him on the birth certificate, no. He didn't want the baby and kept asking me to terminate and has now lied that the baby isn't his...so clearly he's not interested. I don't want someone like that having equal rights to my child. I'm not saying he can't see the baby but I don't want to give him legal rights unless I have to.

Yes I have thought about moving too, thanks

[Feyli_kord]

Will you atleast mention the paternal roots? You're going likely to end up with a caucasian/mediterranean looking kid.

[SadKurdLover]

Do you mean will I tell my child their origins? if so, yes.