Roj Bash Kurdistan

I have visited Iraqi Kurdistan and talked to a guy there about culture and marriage. He told me that his family had rejected that he wanted to be married to a divorced woman who had a child with her ex-husband. The woman was Kurdish but lived in Europe. I never got the chance to ask the reason why his family rejected this, but I drawed conclusion it was because she was divorced with a child. Am I right? Is this a taboo in Iraqi Kurdistan? Or is it different from family to family on what they accept?

Later I overheard that Iraqi Kurds don't believe that a woman who has lived in Europe or the US would live happily ever after in Iraqi Kurdistan (i.e. return there for marriage), because such a woman would have become too accustomed to a Western-world lifestyle. So could a family also reject their son to be married with a divorced woman for this reason, since the family assume the woman will cause problems to the family when she moves back to Kurdistan after lived several years abroad? Or would the rejection be because she has previously been married?

I'd gladly hear comments on this topic!


PS. This is not about me - I am single! I am a student of Anthropology, and curious about Kurdish culture and views of love and marriage!

Ann71 wrote:Is this a taboo in Iraqi Kurdistan?

It is diffrient, there are Kurds who tolerate that and others who dont, I think it is 50 50.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I assumed it's different perspectives amongst Kurds in present Turkey, Iraq, Iran, so that's why I wrote like I did. Is it really that bad of me to make a destinction of what area I visited? It's hard for me to imagine that a Kurd in Diyarbakir has the same family views as a Kurd in Slemani. But it seems I am wrong about that, so I apologize.

Ann71 wrote:Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I assumed it's different perspectives amongst Kurds in present Turkey, Iraq, Iran, so that's why I wrote like I did. Is it really that bad of me to make a destinction of what area I visited? It's hard for me to imagine that a Kurd in Diyarbakir has the same family views as a Kurd in Slemani. But it seems I am wrong about that, so I apologize.

It's ok Ann, for some Kurds it's a really sensitive issue. I think your logic is a little flawed if you don't mind me saying, because in reality the Kurds are in Slemani are more liberal than Hawleri Kurds, that would come under the same classification you mentioned above.

I believe it depends from family to family as a lot of divorced women do remarry, I suppose it depends on the age of the woman and the kid. Parents like to look out for their kids, and usually Kurdish mothers (or mothers in general) want their son to marry someone that is in similar circumstances to their child (you will find this among Westerners too). In conclusion, no it is not a taboo, and depends on individual opinions.

@Cewlik

Bra, bo wa ba nashirni wa daley? datwani ba jwani pey bley.. am iglizana chozanen? la media ba kurdistan dalen iraqi kurdistan, awish boya wa dale.. bashtra ba jwani ba khalki bley ata ba qset can.

Zor supas ideas

Ann , yes we dont like been called anything 'iraqi' , its south Kurdistan so please only use this to call our country . as for your Q , yes it is different from family to another , some are strict in Hawler the capital and some arent in city of Suli and little bit in Duhok . in general guys are into single girls doesnt matter married or what not but ones that dont have kids , bcoz some guys dont even want kids to begin with , i live in Australia and i know many Australian man also go for women who dont have kids , it is not a Kurdish thing .

Thanks "alan131210"

Ann71
Welcome to Roj bash and geat to have you here .

Please feel free to post social issues like these because I think it needs to be discussed . Personally I think love conquers all the barriers .

supas talsor

Ann71 wrote:supas talsor

be ser cew xoşka delal

For my family who are Faylis that is not the case. I mean we rarely do have divorces, but when there is it is really only under certain circumstances. Like constant fights or arguments bewteen the couple, I know of one incidence.

talsor wrote:

Ann71 wrote:supas talsor

be ser cew xoşka delal

My Kurdish is not advanced, so I have no idea what you wrote I wish that google translate would have Kurdish!!

jjmuneer wrote:For my family who are Faylis that is not the case. I mean we rarely do have divorces, but when there is it is really only under certain circumstances. Like constant fights or arguments bewteen the couple, I know of one incidence.

Thanks for the post, but I was asking about re-marriage to a divorced woman (with children with her ex-husband), and it seems from your reply you write about if divorce is common or not.

Ann71 wrote:

jjmuneer wrote:For my family who are Faylis that is not the case. I mean we rarely do have divorces, but when there is it is really only under certain circumstances. Like constant fights or arguments bewteen the couple, I know of one incidence.

Thanks for the post, but I was asking about re-marriage to a divorced woman (with children with her ex-husband), and it seems from your reply you write about if divorce is common or not.

Oh sorry, well no I know of no personal issues that have ever involved that.

jjmuneer wrote:

Ann71 wrote:

jjmuneer wrote:For my family who are Faylis that is not the case. I mean we rarely do have divorces, but when there is it is really only under certain circumstances. Like constant fights or arguments bewteen the couple, I know of one incidence.

Thanks for the post, but I was asking about re-marriage to a divorced woman (with children with her ex-husband), and it seems from your reply you write about if divorce is common or not.

Oh sorry, well no I know of no personal issues that have ever involved that.

That's okay