How to meet/date other kurds.

[veanandjean]

Hi,
I want to ask something a modest kurd wouldn't ask. but I'm wondering how kurdish people outside the country meet other kurds for marriage? do they usually meet of facebook or what?
I wondering becasue I guess all those kurds outside the country aren't going to marry foreigners. going to kurdistan to get a husband or wife is kind of difficult especially if you can't go to visit for a long time.
I am 2 years from graduation and need to know the ettiquette on this stuff, it takes 2-5 years to get spouse from kurdistan. I don't want to contact people online and be labeled bad. I'm a bit westernized but i suppose all other kurds outside the country are a bit westernized too. I wonder if other people have a way to meet, its probably online mostly? there are sooo many kurdish people outside of kurdistan there must a be a way they are meeting. Is it ok to contact people online and if so how should someone go about it?
please don't give me bad critism. =o ... i know this isn't a good topic but something need to know and maybe other kurdish people have same problem. There is nooo other kurds where i live.

[talsor]

great topic veanandjean and thank you for having the courage to post an important topic like that , you have my respect and admiration .

facebook and other social networking sites are not a good place to meet a future husband or wife . A side from being labeled , there is is the lack of commitment and seriousness when it comes to on-line relations and it rarely (not impossible though )end up in a meaningful way .

Going back to kurdistan works fine for men and considering that our society back home is man dominated , the lack of education or sophistication for the female is acceptable for most men .
For a woman is a totally different issue . it is very hard for her to accept being dominated by a man and there is a huge cultural gap in terms of thinking which most woman would reject .

The best way in my view for a female is to get married through help from relatives in the west (not necesserily in the same town or country ) and close friends who could arrange for meeting/date for the couple to meet and get to know each other . Off course prior to that there must be phone conversation or emails and picture exchange,,,etc .

There is moral and cultural obligation when it is done that way and there is certainty of the intention and clarity
of the person's status .

[jjmuneer]

Lol my family want to me to marry within the tribe, so I'm fairly alright I would say.

[veanandjean]

Lol my family want to me to marry within the tribe, so I'm fairly alright I would say.

that's kind of nice. my family (even the ones in kurdistan) are extremly liberal. they told me to marry an american : P they told me to convert my spouse to Kurdish (not islam) lol. .... My family is from Amediya. My family is very weird, they don't follow any cultural norms at all. as an example, one of my female relatives got divorced and didn't tell anyone about it when the family found out my grandpa says "oh really you got divorce? good I didn't like him". .... also another one of my family converted to christianity from islam so that she could start start a problem and come to the USA, she held up a sign saying she converted and got on the newspaper, she took the newspaper to the UN office and they flew her and her family to the US in less than 2 months. and guess what my family does, they laugh about it. The neighbors eyes are susupicously spying. My family doesn't seem to care at all about any of this, my two cousins have married Americans and their mom says "oh my kids spouse' are so beautiful" lol and they were.
Even though i have family approval I only want a kurd. I want someone who looks like me

Either way I was just talking to a family member on facebook and he's working in water managment for kurdistan but surprizingly he also does alot of research on the history of Amedi. he was telling me about the city of Amediya and the history of it. I wanted to go visit Amediya for a school research project so I think i will do that. I can get school credit and expenses paid for visiting home .... once i go back i won't have to think about it my relatives will arrange something....

[asafi]

im laughing at your comment of 'converting your spouse to kurdish' thinking about it thats kind of whats happened to me

here in england theres quite a few places that have biggish kurdish communities so I guess thats not too hard to meet someone for marriage. If its not like that where you are I can imagine it would be difficult. I personally would avoid facebook and places like it, I'm english and married to a kurdish man so have a mixture of friends on my facebook, from seeing what goes on in my feed it seems facebook has a bit of a reputation for people playing other people.... I agree with Talsor on getting help from friends and family... good luck

[veanandjean]

im laughing at your comment of 'converting your spouse to kurdish' thinking about it thats kind of whats happened to me

here in england theres quite a few places that have biggish kurdish communities so I guess thats not too hard to meet someone for marriage. If its not like that where you are I can imagine it would be difficult. I personally would avoid facebook and places like it, I'm english and married to a kurdish man so have a mixture of friends on my facebook, from seeing what goes on in my feed it seems facebook has a bit of a reputation for people playing other people.... I agree with Talsor on getting help from friends and family... good luck

thank you, I'm a little embarrased now saying that about americans ... but yeah almost everyone converts to kurdish after marrying a Kurd. It's just such a fun culture, there is Newruz and the kurdish clothes and yummy Kurdish food and its such a beautiful land as well. The people are funny too, they are friendly but they have some annoying quirks which I am sure you've learned by now lol.

[asafi]

I love Kurdish culture and totally love the food, I can't remember the last time I ate anything English and theres not many Kurdish people Ive met that havent been really friendly. As to the annoyances, I must admit theres a couple of things I find really annoying in my husband (and I know other wives of kurds feel the same lol) but it is far outweighed by the love respect and affection he shows me so I can live with it lol